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In the Heart of the Garden, By the Heat of the Sun

by Turtle Turnip

supported by
Justine Matthews
Justine Matthews thumbnail
Justine Matthews Amazed- loving/living/alive, more, calm, needs, everything Favorite track: Hands of Wire.
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1.
Adoration 03:35
Awaken & walk with me Silence sharpens the wind down low Smiling childlike Realizing everyone is shy I am awake in what I love & desire There is so much adore Canyon stretches from windowsill In a nice big grin Purple & green between Between the backyard & trees I am awake in what I love & desire There is so much adore Morning light weaves together Delirious with play Isn’t it exciting to be alive & wonderful & strange I am awake in what I love & desire There is so much adore
2.
Ocean Floor 03:09
Cactus thorns nailed against my window Peach trees growing on the lawn I think I’ll walk for a moment The breeze it eases me Rather not think, rather not know I’m on the ocean floor Talk to strangers, seem so mature Cup the world in their hands & drink it straight down But when I think about it My eyes are more wrinkled Rather not think, rather not know I’m on the ocean floor When did I get so old? If I rest now, if I start to think I’ll go insane When did I get so old? If I rest now, if I start to think I’ll go insane
3.
Grass wheels in spools Like frightened minnows A tangle of seedpods & dirt Swaying trees, uncertain Digging your toes into the roots I stare at the sky Eyes frail like window glass Drowsy, yet playing The clouds offer no reflection No simmering light Tenderness too is a translation You’ve laid down there once On the ground Bones in the wind Move landscapes again There is a shudder Sunken, swaying Eyes frail like window glass I stare at the sky Because I can be gentle While looking at it
4.
Grass 02:37
I slide by ghostlike The sun licks right through me When I grow up I want to watch the grass move Watch the grass move It’s all a method of revival Sealed away by soil Surface rippling fallow Snakes coiled around lakes in patterns Against the skin laceration Hung in discs breathing heavy under breath It’s all a method of revival Sealed away by soil I slide by ghostlike The sun licks right through me When I grow up I want to watch the grass move Watch the grass move
5.
Aurora told me that my eyes are The bluest in the mornings Sometimes I remember that As early fog wheels up the canyon slow How unfair I can be How unfair I can be & Bren told me once “I am gentle about showing people the sky Sometimes they are surprised Because they are so used to breathing it in” & Jayme texts me her good & bad days & I text her my good & bad days The end of the night by creekside With Jim & Nick & Jordan listening As frogs sing to a wild & yellow moon Slung low over the oaks That is one of my favorite memories I hope there will be more That is one of my favorite memories I hope there will be so much more That is one of my favorite memories I hope there will be more That is one of my favorite memories I hope there will be so much more So much more, so much more, So much more
6.
Autumn 02:20
Red orange winds are chilling my spine I know I wished & wished for them to come I find myself craving your hand On me all the time To bathe in summer streams again Your hands that move Painting shapes of mountains leaving Thousands of leaves Warmth to my shoulder blades Fog rolls through evergreen trees Petals unlatch, the dirt receives Palms wrapped around breathing in steam Your shelter is so kind Crackled wood & warm sheets at night Your hands that move Tapping, trickling beads from trees Cold lucid stream Clouded windows & I’m asleep Your hands that move Painting shapes of mountains leaving Thousands of leaves Warmth to my shoulder blades You’re shining like bronze My eyelids fade
7.
Me & you I could stay in this room with you Laid you head down Spread your veins out These pebble smells Small nostrils breathing it in Bend with me out Stretch your feet out You’re so mean You’re so mean Horses wrapped in green Blue current sea breeze Stay in this room with me By candlelight Your eyes flashing like fireflies Your silhouette shawl Your radiance it echoes Cell by cell Our veins are intertwined Sink your roots deep With your hands of wire You’re so mean You’re so mean Crystal pull of moonlight Sweet peach of summer night Stay in this room with me
8.
The rain has commenced In detail Falling apart like applause Tickling the grass Wind it blows broken Tiny drops gathered in the fronds Blue within Rain down tongue Memories leak just the same Until each drop Is nothing but the sound On fresh & green moss Evaporate in my heart So much is invisible Evaporate in my heart So much is invisible Reflection tuning itself To ripples of the puddle Only to fade out as it reaches the fall I will not try to understand I will not try to understand I will not try to understand I will not try to understand Evaporate in my heart So much is invisible Evaporate in my heart So much is invisible I will not try to understand I will not try to understand I will not try to understand I will not try to understand
9.
Sundown 04:07
Blue sky up & the touch of wind Unwinding clouds Yanked apart, grey underneath White at the fringe The sun never quiet Grass never still Different green over dirt & blue from the shade Pulled out through the sky How many birds can I press to my chest Before they cast a shadow over my heart & it stays coiled in that serpent? I am pretending to adult Wonder if I’ll ever be beautiful enough Will it only fill my coffee cup? The sun never quiet Grass never still & shade changing shape There is so much to discover Like the people Each shadow has its color & my heart never still & the sun never quiet The sun never quiet
10.
Black Crows 04:36
Black crows blew all the windows in Thunder rings Though the storm brought out all the Vague jasmine Your eyelashes closing like sunflowers Bowing their heads down to the night Days & hours hang over us With the strange tenderness & fascination Laid down sprawled out like you do Blue moon quivering in the rain Like such dreams In the morning we’ll slide Our raingreased feet through the bellflowers I will kiss each on the head & hold them by the bows of their stems You will sift through the night Until the heat of our love turns grass yellow Let our fragile skulls play under The oaks If you go, I’ll go If you go, I’ll go If you go, I’ll go If you go, I’ll go

credits

released April 15, 2015

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about

Turtle Turnip San Diego, California

My childhood was a heat haze of vision.

Sight connected with the idea of sun

light radiant grains of reflected colors and shapes that appeared more bright

(contrasts the photography that my family kept under glass displays.

A faded focus; cool, & simmered down as if left more calm) than I can figure now.
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